5 lessons that speaking about death has taught me.
It does not have to be a Debbie downer conversation.
“I had seen birth and death but had thought they were different.” — T.S Eliot
We know for sure that someday our time will come but for most of our lives, we seem to never really talk about this inevitable truth amongst our social circles.
Are we scared to bring it up due to the taboo stigma associated with this subject matter? Are we simply too afraid of death?
Here are five of my learnings to help you understand:
1. Gratitude
Conversations of death allow you to immediately acknowledge what you grateful for in your life. It creates an immediate sense of “I could die at any moment”.
2. Vulnerability=Empathy
Death isn’t an easy conversation to have with anyone, now imagine having to speak about it with someone you love. I learned that since I wasn’t raised to see the importance of this subject matter that as an adult I felt it was difficult to speak about it. I learned that being vulnerable in any conversation, not just death allows you to have empathy toward the subject being spoken, the person you speaking too and most of all, yourself.
3. Be Present
During a conversation about death, you feel a sense of being one with yourself. It allows all your identity labels in life to diminish at that moment and allows your mind to be susceptible to your emotions and your surroundings.
4. Why do I want to be alive?
It amazes me that most people have not given it thought as to WHY they want to live. Yes, read that again.
In the past, I found it easier to ask myself “Why do I want to buy me a new pair of sneakers?” than to ask “Why am I not happy with being myself”
I felt for the longest time that I was so fixated on how I was living my life and what my life should be like instead of asking myself why do I want to live as if I wasn’t even born, to begin with.
It helps you to take control of your life when you start deciphering this right of passage we are blessed with.
5. Strength
Having conversations around death allows you to build strength both spiritually and emotionally, a sort of reinforcement to allow the fear to flow instead of latching onto you.
Takeaway
I lost my mother many years ago and it was at this point in life that I built strength and understanding to this inevitable truth we all have to face one day.
A great way to bring this subject into the conversation you have with a friend/colleague/family member is by asking :
“What are the things you like to see/experience/ feel before you die one day?”
Conversations of death lead to a deeper understanding of life, makes you strive to be present and happy in those moments. It makes you grateful to have what you have or what you experienced, good or bad that has helped shape who you are today.
P.S If you are dealing with death in your life and are struggling to comprehend all the emotions you are feeling, I would advise that you speak to a counsellor.
